School ended a little over a week ago. First there was the push to wrap up the year. Exams needed to be graded and final grades submitted. Then there was the classroom cleaning and the summer mailing to prepare. After that was all done, I took a couple of deep breaths, read a book or two, and have hit the ground running.
One night a week at the library volunteering, painting at the "new" house so we can move in, tutoring 3 students once a week. This week I am teaching two staff training sessions at Camp Cedarbrook, so there is preparation for that. Teachers Write! started yesterday. I really need to spend time writing. I miss writing. I need to write to be a better writing teacher. But writing takes time. I don't have time to sit with my notebook and let my mind wander into my story.
My major focus every summer is preparing for the next school year. Our program is still very much in the building stage. I'm excited that we have hired a history teacher for next year and that I get to focus on English (my dream come true!). I have all four years to develop. It's a double edged sword. I have so much freedom to create my curriculum, yet that freedom is overwhelming at times. I kind of imagine it is like standing on the prairie with wide-open land and sky as far as the eye can see. I am fortunate to have some amazing collaboration partners through Twitter. Amie (@amiet731), Jen (@petzuk), Beth (@Beth139), and Kate (@KtBkr4) have already been planning up a storm in an East Coast meets West Coast collab-party while all I've been able to do is check in occasional as I get Twitter-bombed. I really want to engage, but have not had the time to really start thinking about my curriculum.
Then there is my poor, neglected Beloved Husband. He works 4 10-hour days doing production work (hey, someone has to build those fancy boats for the 1%) and comes home exhausted. But we need his steady paycheck and medical benefits. I wish I made enough and had benefits so he could retire and build custom furniture (he's extremely talented). I want to be a good wife- do my share of the housework, share the cooking responsibilities. But housework and cooking have never been a priority for me. I've never liked doing them. My dear mother tried to teach me, tried to instill in me those values, but I just didn't care. I know that it honors my husband when I get the dishes done- especially when I said I would do them. I know he appreciates coming home from a long day and not having to cook supper. I guess the bottom line is, I need a house keeper and a cook!
So I've been feeling pretty stressed this week. I keep reminding myself that there are still two more months of summer ahead of me. I hope these two weeks are not indicative of what my entire summer will be like. Once we actually get moved, I hope some of the pressure will lift and I will feel the freedom to sit and read, to gaze blankly at my writer's notebook, to allow myself to fall into story.
